Dear Home

Dear Home,

The place that makes me feel safe and loved.  The one true constant in my life, right now.  I can come home and relax after a long, hard day of work, but also invite people over and share my space with loved ones.  Allowing me to feel independent most times.

There is room for my dogs, my husband and me.  Room for the things that are important to me. Room to sleep, eat, and read.

When we bought this house in 2008, I never dreamed of how important it would become in my life. We spend many hours and a fair amount of money making it a home.  Well lived in and comfortable, warm and welcoming.

I know I could do more to maintain this home.  A little more maintenance here, a little more cleaning there.  Things to keep working on as time goes by.  Regardless, my home is loved, for all its faults.

Regards,

Chess

Dear Love

Dear Love,

You are what makes the world go round.  You make people feel special and welcome.  You are the support we need when we are feeling down, and the connection to others when we feel alone. You are the happy, licking puppy who is exuberant that his owner is home.  You are the bond between a couple, despite all their troubles.  You tie families together, most often described as dysfunctional. You are also the kick in the pants we need to get the ball rolling.  You are the hands that catch us when we fall.  Surely without you humans would perish.

For me, Love is the Tribe of Women in my life.  The unconditional support from all the special ladies in my life.  There is no bashing of each other's bodies.  We see the beauty in each other, physically and spiritually.  We share in each other's strife, but also in our joys.  We provide for each other when someone is lacking.  We cry for each other when someone is hurting.  We share our knowledge so that we can all grow into the best we can be.  We are the best cheerleaders.  We test each other to help ensure the growth.

I'm grateful for every one of these ladies in my life.  I know I am loved, and that makes a whole world of difference.

All my love,

Chess

April Love

 I am participating in a challenge hosted by Susannah Conway called April Love 2016.  The idea is to write a letter each day based on the prompts in this picture.  I might post some of my letters here, though some may be too personal for that.



However, in an act of love, I'll be offering half price drop-ins at my studio for people who bring friends.  So instead of paying $10 each, you and your friend get one hour of yoga for $5 each.

Namaste my friends,

Chess

What making yoga accessible means to me

The studio where I did my teacher training has a guiding principle that yoga should be accessible to all people. I, too, agree that yoga should be made accessible.  I chose to make it available to people in a different way.

Backstory

I hated sports when I was growing up.  I always felt inadequate and felt like I was never competitive or physical enough.  I had very low self-esteem and hated my body- I was significantly overweight. I suffered from depression and anxiety.

In college, I found belly dance, and then yoga, and discovered ways for me to be more physical without requiring me to be competitive. I lost a fair amount of weight, gained some confidence, and finally graduated college.  I still battle with depression and anxiety at times.

In 2012 I started taking formal belly dance lesson from Valerie of Bravo Belly Dance. I decided I wanted to teach yoga so I could help people find yoga and help them build their confidence.  I wanted to help student combat anxiety and depression like I have.

Today

I love teaching beginner students.  These students are just starting their yoga journey, many of them in retirement.  I love seeing the changes as they occur.  Some students find more strength- physical and emotional, some find weight loss, others find some quiet time for the monkey chatter.

I have been there and I love sharing my experiences and my lessons with others.  One saying in yoga is "the obstacle is the path."  I believe that is true and we are put on this earth to share these lessons with others; to connect with other people so they, too, can learn and expand.

You are not alone

I know, I know, it's been a while.  There have been a few life changes and I'm just beginning to feel like writing again.  I managed to get out of my old job, into a new one, and things are ever evolving there.

The changes can be trying, for sure.  I struggle a lot with anxiety and depression.  Thankfully I've been receiving help for it, outside of yoga.  I've found some very helpful books and been doing a lot of reading.  I've met some interesting people.

I've come to discover what I love about yoga, aside from the exercise and breathing.  It's the community.  Even if I run in and out of class, there is something magical about being in the same room with people working their bodies in the same way.  Te conversations that are had before and after class are even more magical.  It allows me to connect with others.

If there is anything I've learned recently is that we are never alone in how we are feeling.  We are all tired, all anxious about something.  We all have moments where we fight depression.  The key is to accept that and not beat ourselves up for having "dark" thoughts.  Don't make life harder than it already is.

Namaste my friends,

Chess

The wobbly monkey

It's no secret that I often hit Dutch Brothers on my way to the studio before I teach.  The coffee is yummy and the people there are priceless.

One day a gentleman asked me where I was headed, like usual.  I told him I was headed to the studio to teach yoga and he asked me if I had any special poses for this class.  He then asked if I was teaching the Eiffel Tower.  I said that would be like what I call Extended Mountain, only the feet might be a little wider and the hands would be clasped above the head.  It wouldn't be much different.

Then he asked me if I might be teaching the wobbly monkey, to which I responded that I teach that all the time.  In reality, every day we are just wobbly monkeys trying to figure out this thing we call life.  Some days are better than others, but I doubt anyone truly feels completely stable every day of their lives.  We are always learning and trying our best.  We try to balance and we fall and get right back up.  Sometimes we get the help of our friends or family, and sometimes we don't.

It's ok to wobble, to be unsure of ourselves.  It marks our humanity.  I love that a simple, quick conversation over coffee brought this up.

Namaste,

Chess

Remembering to push myself

Yoga is more than poses on a mat.  We are taught that what we learn on the mat, we can use in the world around us.  Recently I have been reminded of this lesson.

A few weeks back I realized that I became so used to bending my knees a lot in standing forward fold, due to tight everything in my legs, that I wasn't getting much of a stretch anymore.  I have been consciously working on straightening my knees enough that I actually feel a stretch once again.  I have to remember that only by pushing myself, will I grow.  

When I first started yoga, my forward fold looked more like a weird squat because I really was that tight. Through my own practice and teaching others, I'm much closer to that folding in half I am looking for, thanks to pushing myself.

Now, what does that have to do with life off the mat?  During this same time frame, a new opportunity was dropped in my lap.  I have been searching for a new job for sometime.  My growth has been stunted for a number of years in my current position.  A recruiter called me out of the blue, had a job that she was trying to hire for, and set me up with an interview.  I have had a few interviews, one I have even recounted on this blog.  After being at this company for six years, I felt out of sorts.  Lots of questions and doubts hanging over me.

Then I remembered that the reason I have been looking elsewhere is I am ready to grow.  Thanks to my practice, and many of my loved ones, I found the courage to make this happen.  While I am still not officially at the new place of employment, I have set all the pieces in motion and am waiting for that first Monday coming up very soon.

I am remembering to push myself.

Namaste my friends,

Chess