Touch

One thing that the training forced me to do is touch others, including people I don't really know.  In the US, it is mostly forbidden to touch others, unless you know them really well.  When passing someone, you try your hardest not to brush up against them.  You say "pardon me" when you bump into another person, or even if you came close to it.  You even do a little dance when two people move to the same side when trying to pass each other.

There wasn't much hugging or touching going on with my family members when I was growing up.  I find it very awkward when others touch me on the shoulder, or even worse, when others try to hug me.  If I am consoling someone, that isn't hard for me, but any other time it just feels so weird.

The worst part is, this hurts us.  We don't feel connected with other people.  In our digital world, we find it easier to not touch or connect with our friends and family.  Then when we try to reconnect, we feel awkward or out of place. No wonder we love sex so much.  It is one of the only places we can touch each other and know full well what is expected from that touch.

So now I am having to learn how to give positive energy to my students through touch, which is very difficult for me, because I don't really know how to touch people.  But just like anything else, the more I do it, the more I learn.  The more I learn, the less awkward I feel doing it.

And through this, I also realize that some of my students probably feel the same way.  They don't know how to be touched.  So I am learning how to be gentle when working with my students, so that they feel comfortable and cared for.  They are important and if I am the only person who makes them feel seen, heard, and touched, then I am doing my job right.

Love and Light,
Chess